There’s a stock photo for almost any blog post or topical website you can dream up. Outside of those, so many random images exist that it’s difficult to figure out exactly why a given website keeps them on hand. About a month ago, David Griner challenged me to choose the drinks I’d make for some of the weirdest stock photo characters he could dig up. Here’s the second installment.
Oh, my! I do believe her delicate sensibilities would surely require a Mint Julep to calm her nerves if it was summertime. Since chilly weather has set in, she’ll have to daintily remove her gloves to sip a Ward 8. The dratted Yankees do make such delicious cocktails.
I’ve probably been reading too much zombie lit, because her lab coat currently reminds me of mad scientists and CDC affiliates. However, her tight smile and suspicious orange flask can only mean one thing — conspiracy! To take her out of the game, I’d make her a few Corpse Reviver No. 2s. As the famous Henry Craddock said, one or two of these concoctions can revive the corpse, but “four or more taken in quick succession will unrevive the corpse again.”
Drinking at home may be the best way to save a few bucks, but at the bar, you have to stick to straight liquor to save money. This chap looks like a traditional bourbon guy, so he’ll have a one ounce pour of W. L. Weller Special Reserve.
If Ab Man comes in for a post-fight drink, I’ll serve him a Horse’s Neck. Hopefully the name won’t remind him of any bad experiences during his stint in Mother Russia. Since he’s probably going to go back out after cementing his whereabouts at the bar, he’ll probably want it in its original mocktail form — ginger ale with the peel of a whole lemon. Bourbon can take too much of the fight out of a hero.
No red-blooded ‘Merican wants the Commies to win, but the service industry is about serving customers. I’ll make him a Cuba Libre, but if he’s meeting up with his pals, I’ll phone back in time to the House Un-American Activities Committee.